Pi-Em, on a Blank Paper.

My idea of friendship is a blank sheet of paper. You are free to write on it. Nobody can tell you what to write or stop you from erasing what you have written.

Pi-em, a very dear friend, has abandoned me not just once. Abandoned might be to harsh a word. I could say that it was a hiatus from friendship. I remember back in college, she wanted more freedom to do the things she wanted, like smoking, or getting drunk, things that I wouldn't do nor will Mitchie (my bestfriend, and Piem adored the time the three of us met) so she hopped from one group to another only to find that she will fall back to our arms. She was shunned by our classmates for her apparent indifference for scholastic endeavors. Nobody really liked to be with her when it comes to schoold projects because she never really contributed much and if she did, it wouldn't have amount to anything. She wasn't dumb. She was just lazy.

When we finished college, I kept my ties with Pi-Em. I was there everytime she needed someone. In events that she needed an ear to listen to her primal screams, I lended mine. She needed me and I was always there.

I might sound that I am crazy over Pi-Em but the truth is I just needed to be there. She needed some sort of a Pillar to lean on. She is a tired soul from all the beating that this world is giving her.

Somehow, I have always expected Pi-Em to do the same for me but she never did. Although I am in the habit of calling her whenever I need someone to listen, I have always hoped that in some cosmic and weird way, she'll feel my pain and dial my number. She never did. Every time that she listens to my primal screams, my rantings and ravings about how crooked the whole world seems to be, and through the rollercoster of my emotions, all that I can hear is the buzz coming from the flourescent light in my room. She listens alright, but she doesn't hear what I have to say. She is always more concerned about what's on the boob tube.

But I still love her.

Now, she seems to be happy with her life. Her life, currently, does not include my presence. Not even the idea of me, unless she needs my help. With her Boyfriend being there to listen to her whine, I find myself being washed away into being a distant recollection.

In times as such, I end up re-evaluating my idea of friendship. Friends are for keeps no matter how distant they seem to be. I wonder if Pi-Em still misses me, or if she ever did. Oh well, I'll try to talk to her tomorrow and think of diabolic schemes on how I could meet with her again.